In Japan, it is also common to use a mediation service provided by the family courts, called tyoutei.  It has been called "breakup" counseling by Western practitioners in Japan, but this is what Japanese use.  This section should describes how it works from people who have been thru it.  (If you have been through choutei and can contribute to or write this section, please contact webmaster@crnjapan.net)

Some questions we should try to answer.  (This could be multiple essays.)

1. •How does it work?
   

2. •Is there a cost?
   

3. •What is the process?
   

4. •Are the results legally binding?
   

5. •What if there are no results?  Can they be forced on you?
   

6. •What happens if you cannot speak Japanese? 
   

7. •Do you really need to go if your partner arranges it?  What if you dont?
   

8. •What is Choutei?
   

9. •Am I legally required to go if I am "invited"?
   

10. •What are the consequences of not going?
    

11. •Is there a "result" or some kind of decree or court order granted?
    

12. •Is this decree legally binding?
    

13. •Should I bring a lawyer? What if my partner brings a lawyer?
    

Here is a account of a divorce choutei, although it is in Japanese.  http://garden.millto.net/~etigoya/chotei.htm

The process of mediation itself is far from what westerners would consider mediation. During months of mediation I never even saw my ex-wife except once by accident in the hallways of the courthouse. She waited in her waiting room with frosted glass windows and I waited in a separate waiting room with frosted glass windows. She would go into the courtroom with her lawyers, argue her points, then go back to her waiting room, then I would go into the courtroom, argue my points, then go back to my waiting room. We were never in the same room at the same time. The discussion itself never directly targeted any of the salient points, but constantly “talked around” the points. This lack of directness, and avoidance of confrontation within Japanese culture, helped shape the current Japanese legal system. Even if 50 years ago the system favored men, it was still a completely non-confrontational system, and reflective of Japanese culture.

Additionally, I remember an article from a few months ago discussing the fact that Japanese child psychologists felt it was better for a child of divorced couples to not have contact with both parents because it would “confuse” them. This is not in the interest of the child, but it is intended to avoid further conflict between the divorced parties and avoid addressing the “shame” of divorce. In Japan it is better to simply not discuss it an