Every Child

Has Two Parents

 
 

What Happens When You Marry A Japanese Have Children and It Doesn't Work Out

A personal story by the author...

My Story in a Nutshell

                                  


My name's Steven R. Leduc.  I came to Japan on Sunday, July 15th, 1990.  After arriving in Japan, I eventually started dating Makiko Kikuchi who became my girlfriend.  She had previously been divorced with two children at the time and was residing in her mother's house.  When her mother found out that her only daughter had been dating me, her mother confiscated her bank assets and had kicked her out of her residence putting her literally on the street.   (I seem to remember Makiko saying that her mother had forged a bank document with her hanko without Makiko's knowledge.)   As long as her official seal was on the bank document, it was final and the bank had refused to discuss it any further.  She also decided to hold onto her two grandchildren. 

Although I asked Makiko to come live with me together, she decided to move into a house that was used as a nursery school during the day by one of her former teachers.  At night she was the only occupant.  She stated that although we were lovers, she just wasn't ready to reside with me yet.  Fortunately she had been visiting her children in secret and when the time came for us to reside together, she would just go back to her mother's house and take them (which she then did in 1992).  Her children were about eleven (son) and nine (daughter) years of age at the time.

Book Information

What Happens When You Marry A Japanese Have Children and It Doesn't Work Out


Print Edition - ebook


Author:  Steven R. Leduc, 2006

ISBN: 1-4120-8954-9
Publisher and Retailer:  Trafford Publishing

(Canada, USA, Ireland and UK) International Shipping Available


In 1992, we started to reside together with her two children from her previous marriage and we were planning on getting married the following week.  Then her mother cooked up another scheme. Basically she invented a story about how bad I was and told my fiancée's former parents in-law.  They believed it whole heartedly without ever meeting me in person.  They ended up holding onto their grandson (because he carried that family's surname on his father's side of the family) and my fiancee's mother ended up holding onto her granddaughter (because she carried that family's surname).  Both children had different surnames, so they were divided into each household based on their surnames.

We then went to the police station and although my fiancée filed a police report for her children to be returned to her, she eventually just accepted the situation for what it was and gave up on having her children living with us.  She then decided that the marriage was off.  She returned back to the nursery school house and I back to my apartment since she felt that once again she wasn't ready to reside together.  We finally tied the knot on April 1st, 1993 although she still wasn't ready to reside with me yet.  She kept saying that she needed more time.

In March 1994, Makiko informed me that she was pregnant and that we were expecting a fall baby.  On April 3rd, 1994, we finally moved into our new residence together with her son from her previous marriage since he no longer wanted to reside with his grandparents (my wife's former in-laws).  Within three months problems started to develop with my former son in-law being spoiled in ways and to an extent you cannot imagine and neither could I at the time. (I have to leave something for the book...)  

Our beautiful son Masahiko (Wayne Leduc) Kikuchi was born on September 5th, 1994.  Soon afterwards my wife started to treat me as if I had never existed.  Her first son Michitake Ochi basically replaced me, and my wife had even promised him that within three years time, she would divorce me or at least separate and return with him and our son back to her mother's house.  During the entire three plus years that we resided together, my wife and her first son from her previous marriage did everything in their power to make sure I would have as little contact as possible with my son. 

Whether little Masahiko Wayne really realized what was happening or not, we really had a very close loving bond together.  Whenever a chance arose, I did my best to spend time with him as much as I could.  We really loved each other very much and from around one and a half years of age, my wife and her first son really tried hard to keep the contact between my son and I to a minimal amount of time.  Well my wife and her first son followed through with her pre-meditated plan of kidnapping my son and moved back into her mother's house.  I became the disposable husband.  It then became really difficult for me to have continued contact with my son Masahiko Wayne.  But however hard, I always found a way.

Finally by late 1999, my wife started feeling threatened that my son wanted to spend more and more time with me so she with the help of her family went out of their way to really try hard to sever my son from my life.  We went to the Hachioji Family Court of Tokyo in late 1999 and 2000 but the negotiations had failed.  My wife then threatened to take me to the next level of court but soon afterwards declined because of certain information I presented to her.  (Again, you will have to read the book.)

Soon afterwards we divorced by mutual consent, filed the papers at the Musashino-shi City Hall and made a contract between ourselves that each party would abide by.  Of course, I kept my end but my former wife soon went back to her old ways.  Then I went through an unbelievable police interrogation on Friday, April 13th, 2001 in the public lobby area of the Musashino-shi police headquarters with an officer demanding that I sign a paper written in Japanese that I could not comprehend at all.  He constantly iterated that I was free to go only after signing the paper.  Compliments of my former wife accusing me of being a stalker or that's what I was made to believe from the officer's point of view.  Of course I never signed it.  Then we went back to the Hachioji Family Court of Tokyo again in 2001 and believe it or not, made a legally binding contract.

Although my former wife came without representation this time, I believed that I was coerced into attending family court this time since I was informed that I had no choice even though I had already been divorced since the previous year.  In regards to the making of this contract, the mediators informed me that obtaining Canadian Citizenship and a Canadian Passport for my son was out of the question and could not be included in the mediation contract.  That this was the decision of The Hachioji Family Court of Tokyo and it was final.  They also excluded the matter of my getting custody of my son Masahiko Wayne in the event that my former wife were to die.  Also, once again before putting my seal on the contract, I mentioned to The Hachioji Family Court of Tokyo and my former wife Mrs. Makiko Kikuchi that I would only agree to this contract provided that my former wife would obtain Canadian Citizenship and a Canadian Passport for our son Masahiko Wayne as soon as possible.  They had to promise me this part or I would in no way put my personal seal on this contract.  The mediators had informed me that although they could not put it in writing on the contract that the Judge and my former wife Mrs. Makiko Kikuchi had verbally promised to accept my one condition in order to obtain my seal on this contract.  Be it known that this promise of agreement was made in a court of law between all parties concerned.  So if a certain judge wasn't aware of certain promises made in a court of law due to the probable incompetence of the mediators not conveying the details accurately, well what more can I say about the Hachioji Family Court of Tokyo.  Is dishonesty acceptable in a Court of Law?

After we signed the second contract, my former wife failed to follow most aspects of the contract including carrying out the verbal promises accepted by all parties made in a court of law.  As of September 6th, 2004, my former wife Makiko Kikuchi reneged on all aspects of the contract totally although I continued to pay child support up to and including December 2005.  I've spoken to her in person (?), contacted her by phone, and even sent registered letters to her mother's house, to her in-laws house from her previous marriage and to her new residence four blocks away from where we used to live.  (They were living there for a time since she and her first son were kicked out of her mother's house again.)  Of course no one even told me she and my son had moved until a year later. She continually refuses to abide by our contract.

So after being kept in the dark for so long, I have written a book to help others learn what you're in for should you divorce the Japanese mother of your children when things don't work out.  This is especially true if if you are residing in Japan or your Japanese spouse decides to return to Japan from overseas after marriage. So basically it applies to anyone who marries a Japanese.  If you have married or plan to marry a Japanese, you MUST read this book.

Comments can be sent by email to the author at learningenglishconversation [AT] hotmail.com

Post Book Update

I am presently remarried to a very beautiful Japanese woman and we have a son.  I was fortunate enough to learn about Masahiko Wayne's Elementary School's sports day festival from a poster at his younger brother's nursery school. (He is off to junior high school next April of 2007.)  I made it to his final sports day on May 30, 2006.  I missed his 5th one because my former wife failed to give me two weeks prior notice of his event that had been stipulated in our contract.  Although my son kept his distance, he seemed both happy and embarrassed.  He even posed for a few pictures I took of of him.  During the whole time, his mother/my former wife was a mere two to three meters away from me, and as usual, wouldn't say a word.

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The information on this website concerns a matter of public interest, and is provided for educational and informational purposes only in order to raise public awareness of issues concerning left-behind parents. Unless otherwise indicated, the writers and translators of this website are not lawyers nor professional translators, so be sure to confirm anything important with your own lawyer.




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